The Three Strikes
You’re Out Approach to Dealing with Difficult Students!
While there are literally hundreds of books regarding teacher
effectiveness and pedagogy, simplifying teacher practice into a mere three
suggestions can unquestionably assist to the success in which all teachers want
to enjoy while overcoming a lack of student achievement and classroom
management. One would think these three unacceptable
and psychologically destructive behavioral actions employed by teachers, ought not
to be going on in classrooms? Think
again.
Unfortunately, the sad fact of the matter is these actions go
on in schools all across the world. They
are used and implemented by teachers primarily as a defense mechanism in
reaction to non-compliant behavior, undesirable behavior or a lack of respect
displayed by students. They are a
primitive attempt at behavior modification by poor quality teachers from the
new to the veteran, as well as licensed qualified teachers who lack compassion,
empathy, experience, and understanding dealing with behavioral and
psychological issues that students bring to school with them. More
times than not they often manifest themselves in school in the form of their
actions and communications. Often teachers forget, or choose to ignore,
the issues and problems children bring with them to school on a daily basis. It is this proverbial baggage which lies at
the root of students being both non compliant and disrespectful.
These counter behaviors and reactions on behalf of teachers
occur and are ongoing in classes all over.
There impact and effect is different however, given the age and grade
level of the student. Nonetheless, how
some teachers behave and communicate, it can cause irrevocable damage to the
fragile minds and hearts of youth still forming their personalities. Older children in particular are used to and
have probably already experienced these behaviors and words and actions many
times over, thus resulting in a defensive posture and mode. Younger children more so or often times, due
to their inability and maturity in knowing how to reply and or defend
themselves, often hold their reactions to this inappropriate and unacceptable teacher
conduct deep within themselves. In all likelihood
it will manifest itself in their future actions not only in school, but how
they deal with others and most importantly their own children as they raise
them. I think most quality teachers, and
would like to believe ALL teachers, with a compassionate and humanistic
approach to being an effective and quality classroom teacher and compassionate
communicator, as well as a person, will agree with the following points;
1.
Berating & Embarrassing a
student is amongst the worse things an adult in a classroom can do to a
student. Equally as damaging, is the
behavior and communication when done on a one to one basis? Regardless of the forum or venue, as a parent
or a child yourself, you probably have had this experience. The resulting reaction or lack of reaction on
behalf of a student or child will most likely have both short and long term
consequences in which will result in an even more aloof, insecure and non
compliant child or student. To begin, or
to be a part of the destruction of another human beings self esteem is the ultimate
result of berating another, and not the business of what education is all
about. It is simply an intolerable
action and practice which needs to be eliminated immediately from the confines
of any and all school buildings. Educators
must know and be cognizant in their interpersonal communications with their
students; it is these children who are most often the ones who lack these
characteristics to begin with.
Embarrassing a student is in most regards the same as the aforementioned
point, whether blatant or not, it is oftentimes used and displayed by teachers
in more clandestine and sarcastic ways. Although
often times used as a tactic to modify and correct inappropriate behavior, the
effects are the same. Ultimately, it
will create mistrust on behalf of the student while fostering a climate and
culture in a classroom much to the same ends.
The same impact and effect will be the result when berating a student…
2.
Yelling at
students more times than not occur in conjunction with the other two points
mentioned above. Whether a student or
teacher wants to admit it or not this is potentially the most psychologically
damaging to a child. Each time a teacher
raises their voice to a difficult of disruptive student it is like a
thunderbolt in which strikes deep into the heart of another person! Again, it not only reveals a teachers lack of
professionalism, self-control, compassion and understanding but also speaks
volumes as to their inability or unwillingness to dealing appropriately and
effectively with a child who is non compliant or difficult. We all carry baggage with us daily and
ongoing, yet an adult who has experienced much more pain, stress and suffering
personally should be able to check and recognize the short term impact and
direction, as well as the long term effects this is going to have on a child
who is still growing and being shaped emotionally and mentally…
3. Ignoring a child or student is a method
employed by teachers which is just as damaging on a child’s psyche as all the
other actions and behaviors above. As an
educator, a lifelong learner and a mentor to kids whom many times have very few
mentors to look up to or emulate, this action or inaction on behalf of an
educator speaks volumes (pardon the pun).
A method employed perhaps more so than any of the behaviors previously
mentioned, is yet another ill practice to deal with the difficult and non
compliant student.
In summation, I offer just a few of quotes in which inspired
and resonated with me in writing this blog, while forming my opinion and
practice regarding dealing with children and students over the years. I sincerely hope this article has resonated
with you as well, and that you may find it useful in assisting your staff or
colleagues be the great teachers and mentors they are striving to be, and I
know that deep within they can be! Peace.
“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken
men.” Frederick Douglass
“Your student should not leave your class the same way they
walked in.” George Stewart (PLN
colleague and friend)
“Teach like there is a camera in the room. Like it because with cell phones there always
is.” Todd Whitaker (PLN colleague and
friend)
“The surest way to ensure a productive organization is to
treat the people you work with, and for, with dignity, fairness and
respect.” Joe Clark (PLN colleague and
friend)
“Kindness gives birth to kindness.” Sophocles
“Nothing is more damaging to you than to do something you
know is wrong.” Abraham
“To touch the soul of another human being is to walk on holy
ground.” Stephen Covey
“There is nothing stronger than gentleness.” Abraham Lincoln
“Any man can do harm to another, but not every man can do
good to another.” Aristotle
“A teacher effects eternity; they can never tell where their
influence stops.” Henry Adams
“A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and
compassion are the things in which renew humanity. Siddartha Gautama
“The tongue has the power of life and death.” Proverbs 18:21
“The man who forgives is far stronger than the man who
fights.” Nathan Croall
“Kindness is a language we can all understand, the blind can
see it, and the deaf can hear it.”
Mother Teresa
“The truth of the matter is we always know the right thing to
do. ‘The hard part is doing it.” Robert Schuler
“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the
problem.” Capt. Jack Sparrow (aka Johnny
Depp)
“Be kind, for everyone you meet and deal with is fighting a
hard battle.” Socrates
“If you want others to be happy practice compassion, if you
want to be happy practice compassion.”
Dali Lama
“The secret in education lies in respecting the
student.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
